Testa the Waters
by dad-are-you-space
Summary: Forgive me Lord, for I have blasphemed once again. :P A (probably terrible) Stendy lemon. (Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this fanfic, all rights belong to Comedy Central/ Trey and Matt) CONTAINS GRAPHIC LEMON!


"You gonna chug it or what?" Cartman taunted, hovering behind Stan as he grasped the glass in his hand. He stared at the liquid quizzically, unsure what to make of it. He knew he shouldn't do this, that it was a stupid idea, and that he'd join the others in getting in trouble if he got found out.

But then he started to think more positively about it. Most of the others at Cartman's party, Cartman predictably included, had been drinking from Mrs Cartman's (poorly) hidden stash of beer and were currently pissed out of their skulls, and seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"C'MON! DO IT ALREADY, YA PUSSSHY!" Cartman demanded, slurring and squeaking at the same time in a way that was hilarious but also disturbing. From behind him, the others started laughing away; at Cartman, of course, but Stan took it pretty personally, turning back towards the glass and sighing.

Kyle quietly came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. "You know, that stuff is kinda nice," he said quietly. "You're taking this pretty seriously-" he started, but Stan insistently cut him off.

"Yeah. Yeah, I am taking this pretty seriously. You know why? This is totally wrong! We shouldn't be doing this for like 8 years!" Stan replied insistently. Since he'd hit puberty, Stan had become a lot more cautious and shy about things like this. The threat of having his ass kicked, hard, by Shelley over stuff like this was usually enough to put him off.

"Relax, man," Kyle responded fairly quietly. "Cartman's mom won't be back for ages, and she's gonna be way too caught up in why she was out fucking whoever to give a shit." He looked more friendlily at Stan. "Just try it," he suggested.

As Kyle walked away, Stan looked back at the glass. Slowly, he lifted it to his mouth and took a sip. Kyle was right- this stuff was pretty good. Kinda like soda. He had the whole glass, and then another. And then his attention was caught by something totally different.

Cartman's ass. Well, everyone laughing at it, actually. Looks like he had bad gas, and that mixed with his clouded judgement meant he'd put his butt on show to the whole party, and was still trying to chug down another bottle. Stan followed everyone else's lead by crying with laughter.

"Hey, Stan," a familiar voice behind him chirped. On cue, Stan barfed all over the floor. At least for once that seemed fairly normal. "Uh..." he started, blushing. He turned to Wendy and smiled awkwardly, wiping his mouth.

"Are you OK?" she asked, a little surprised. "You seem pretty quiet tonight." 'Tonight' was an understatement. Over the last couple of years, he'd got progressively worse at talking to her. Not only did he still projectile vomit when she talked to him, he could barely talk to her afterwards.

"I... yeah, tonight is kinda weird," he replied. As he looked back at her, he realized something. There was something weird about her... the top she was wearing tonight really accentuated her boobs, and he found himself barely able to look away from them.

She realized what was happening and giggled. "What's up, Stan?" she grinned cheekily. Her heart fluttering, she took his hand and watched him go from blanking to an expression of combined surprise and amazement.

"N-nothing..." he started in response to her question, but as she moved forward, he couldn't help but blush. His heart started beating faster than ever. "You know what's up," he replied weakly, hoping that was anywhere near the answer she was after.

"Good," Wendy purred. "Now come on. We're going back to my house." Stan looked at her in disbelief. She leaned closer to him again and whispered into his ear, "My parents aren't home." On the way out, he threw up into the bushes outside Cartman's house.

Before he knew what was happening, Wendy was running back along the path to her house, pulling him along as he flapped like a flag. He suddenly realized that she was walking differently to how she normally did- she was skipping, racing along. Was she that excited for this? ...With him?

As they reached her house, Wendy pulled him inside, slammed the door shut, and then pressed him to the wall, pressing her lips harshly against his as she pulled off his coat and hat. Suddenly, he got the courage to try to kiss with his tongue, and she let out a giggle as he did.

She slipped her shoes off and pulled his off him before pulling him tightly into a hug. "I love you, Stan," she murmured into his ear. He blushed again, but as she began another kiss, he realized something that had been pretty damn obvious for years.

"I love you too," he replied, smiling shyly as they began to kiss again. Slowly, he moved his hand down to her boobs and gently squeezed one, and then laughed as she let out a soft moan.

"Do that again," she smiled. Stan quickly obliged and she whimpered excitedly again. Panting, she looked up at him and grinned, "Hey... wanna go test the waters?"

Stan looked puzzled at her, and then gulped. "Oh shit..." he murmured. "Y-you mean-"

"I MEAN FUCK, STAN!" Wendy shouted impatiently.

"Let's do this," he replied, smiling shyly. Their hands joined as he let her pull him to the bedroom, holding back laughter as he teased her.

As they entered, Stan reached for her top, pulling it off her to reveal her small bra, her breasts just a little too large for it. In response, she pulled at his shirt, getting it off him and throwing it to one side.

He reached down to her skirt and unzipped it, Wendy lifting herself up enough to let him get it off, then pushed him back a little to get off her tights. At the same time, he pulled off his pants and then drew her into a tight, affectionate hug.

Wendy blushed. This was the kind of weird wordless behaviour someone like Kenny would act with. Coming from Stan, it was unusual- and somehow strangely welcome.

Entranced and barely able to speak, Stan gently traced her cheeks, lips and nose, his mouth a little agape at what she was offering. He gently cupped her face and drew her into a kiss.

As it broke off, he reached down and cupped her breast again. She breathed in deeply and in amazement at the feeling it gave her. She felt a sudden tingling in her crotch, and looked up lustfully.

That finally gave Stan the confidence to go for the home run. He reached behind her to her bra, but fumbled, blushing. She smiled and shifted to move on top of him, undoing the bra to expose her nipples to him.

"Wait a sec... don't we need, like, a condom?" Stan asked worriedly. He wanted to do this, he knew that, but this was scary enough without the possibility of getting her pregnant.

"Huh?" Wendy asked, then laughed. "It's OK," she replied calmly. "I'm on the pill." Seeing that Stan was still cautious, she realized she had to point out what that meant. "I won't get pregnant, dumbass!" she smiled.

Stan breathed a sigh of relief and reached down to pull off his pants, looking hopefully at her as he did so. "Um... does it look OK?" he asked uncertainly. He suddenly remembered back to how his parents hadn't, ultimately, let him have a bris like Kyle and Ike, and felt a pang of jealousy.

Wendy didn't answer, but moved towards it and gently touched his cock instead. Stan winced and tried to cover it up. "I can't take my fucking eyes off it," she belatedly replied, surprisingly truthfully.

As a way of returning the favour, she pulled off her panties, and just the sight of her pussy was almost enough to make Stan barf again. He swallowed hard, and then pulled his eyes up to meet hers. "Wendy, you're beautiful," he grinned.

She leaned back to let him do what he wanted, and saw his cock reach her and rub above her pussy. She squeaked harshly as a little explosion of pleasure hit her, and Stan winced as a similar, but less intense, sensation came from his now-exposed head.

"What the hell was that?" Stan murmured. "...wait a minute," he started, having a sudden realization from long ago. "Is that the clitoris?"

"I- I don't know," Wendy panted. "I guess so."

"WOOHOO! I found it! I finally found the clitoris! I hope you're proud, Chef!" Stan yelled out into the heavens. When he looked down, Wendy had one eyebrow raised in confusion.

"Never mind. Do you wanna do this?" he asked shyly. She nodded, and gently gripped his arm, prompting him to push inside her. He gulped as Wendy let out a grunt of pain and he felt himself hit something hard.

"Keep... going..." she whimpered. Obediently, he forced his prick deeper inside, and she let out another yelp. "Don't move," she panted as she felt the pain slowly dissipate. As if on command, her friend stopped, gently holding her hand.

"It... it's OK, now..." Wendy said at last. Gently, Stan started moving, and she felt intense bursts of pleasure rush through her as he picked up speed and began thrusting in and out of her.

He, too, shivered with euphoria as the weirdness of what they were doing slipped out of his head and he almost began to forget what they were doing. After a while, his hands slipped down to her boobs, and he began to stroke at her nipples.

Wendy gasped and moaned, her lover breaking the kiss to breathe and whimper right along with her. Stan's eyes flashed open, and the sight of his closest female friend's excited face, her beautiful naked body touching his and the feeling of her soft wetness clenching his cock pushed him over the edge.

With the tiniest of wet sounds and spasm after spasm from his crotch, he squeezed what felt like it could be his lifeblood into her.

Under him, a million scenes from embarrassing sex-ed videos shot through Wendy's mind and she too began to hit her limit. "S-something's coming," she whimpered.

Nervously, but trying to hide it, Stan hugged her tighter as her whole body started shivering uncontrollably. "It's OK," he whispered.

Improbably, that was what set her off. She yelled out a choir of rapture as she came, feeling like every cell in her body tightening around the half-erect Stan, as if she would melt into him.

Before she knew it, but after what for Stan felt like eternity, she was absently gasping for air and basking in the aftershocks of it all. He gave her a soft kiss and gently blushed. "I love you," he smiled.

"I love you too, Stan."

As he awoke, Stan felt a little knot in the base of his stomach. He looked towards Wendy next to him in the bed. Slowly, she opened her eyes and smiled, still in a daze. "Hey, Stan," she squeaked.

"Hey," he replied quietly, wanting to add something to that until he felt a bitter flush in his mouth which made it clear that he was about to throw up. Not wanting to spoil the moment, he simply turned away from Wendy and then barfed over the side of her bed.

"Eww," she murmured. He turned back to her embarrassedly. Feeling pity for him, she murmured, "It's OK," cuddling him to her. "Are we a thing now?"

"I thought we were always a thing," Stan murmured, before looking up at her with a hint of terror. "Are we a thing? Were we gonna be a thing before this?"

"You're thinking too much," Wendy giggled. "Even if we don't... do whatever the fuck that was... again, we're a thing."

"Tell you what," Stan offered. "How about we go to the mall? You know, together?"

Wendy's eyes lit up. "Really? You're pretty forward all of a sudden!" she grinned.

As they set off, they soon passed Cartman's house. "Hey, I have an idea. Cartman's mom still isn't back, so..." He wandered up to the window and yelled, "HEY, FAT ASS! WANNA WAKE UP AND SEE THE LOVELY MORNING?!"

Seeing that Cartman-baiting was kinda fun, Wendy followed him over and added, "IF YOU'RE GONNA FIX THAT HEADACHE, TRY CUTTING YOUR COCK OFF! I'M SURE IT SHOULD TAKE YOUR MIND OFF IT!"

The two of them walked away laughing. As the grumpy fat teen slowly roused himself, he felt an uncomfortably vivid cold breeze below his colossal waistline, rolled over... and saw a tuft of blonde hair poking out from under an orange parka.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"


End file.
